Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Being "Normal"

I know fighting with people on the internet is futile, but I found myself doing it recently.  They were saying that they had worked with some gays before and they were just normal people and that gay people should stop making drama and prove they could be normal, hard-working people.

Of all the things someone could say to provoke me, I'm not sure why this tipped me over the edge, but it did. Maybe it was the implication that sexuality has something to do with work ethic. Or maybe its because telling a marginalized population to "just be normal" is part of the problem. If no one stands up and says how things are wrong, nothing will ever change. Let's not revert back to homosexuality being something we just don't talk about.

Today I am sitting by my wife while our daughter takes a nap on her lap.  Yes, for all intents and purposes, we are normal. I see it in my daughter's eyes when she looks at us and everything is right in her world. We are a family, regardless of the path that led us here.

I feel endlessly lucky that we haven't faced any outright discrimination, just the everyday heterosexism that exists. Most days is just background noise to an otherwise beautiful song.  Most days E's laughter is enough to drown it out.  However, every once and a while it can't be tuned out and I can't help but say something. Sometimes it is the bazillionth "that's so gay" comment and other times its something more intentional. Some days it is having to cross "Father" off of forms, again, and others its the biannual medical power of attorney we have to have in case anything happens to E while she is with her mama. Once a year it is filing taxes. Until my family is recognized, we can't be normal, and I feel like a poor example for my daughter if I never speak up and tell people their words sting. To them, I'm sure I seem like another angry lesbian, but they were just unlucky enough to be the final straw.

In other news, every year February and March are crazy at my job, this year is no different. Most unfortunately, Valentine's Day is also in February. Over the past few years I have become rather jaded about the commercialization of holidays and Valentine's has taken the brunt of my cynicism, much to A's dismay. This year A told me the origin of the holiday which partially honors a saint who performed marriages for people who weren't allowed to be wed.  I can appreciate and celebrate that, especially since my own marriage is not recognized by many. So Happy Belated Valentine's Day everyone!  Here are some cupid pictures!

She's so cute, I can't stand it!

Pensive Cupid

Showing off her new trick!

"No! I wanted chocolate!"

1 comment:

  1. Cutest. Cupid. Ever!! Those pictures are so cute!!!

    (Ah, normal. Although it's different for everyone, it's the people who don't see a same-sex couple raising their -adorable- baby as part of it that make me angry. And to "stop making drama" as your online adversary put it is to accept that we'll always be on the outside and never work toward becoming part of that person's "normal". What a loaded word!)