"The Talk"

Lately there has been a lot of talk about how we live in a "rape culture".  Victims of rape are being publicly shamed and blamed for being stupid enough, drunk enough, slutty enough to get raped.  As awful and wrong as I know it is, sometimes I even hear a little voice inside my head that says "Well, she really shouldn't have drank so much she passed out."  I've been trying to figure out where this voice comes from and I think it can be traced back to how our society approaches sex.

Today I was listening to the radio and they were addressing this issue.  They asked people to call in and tell how they talk to their kids about sex. Over and over I heard people say they teach their daughters that they need to set their boundaries and stick to them. They need to make sure they don't get in a situation where they don't have control. Their advice to their sons is that they need to respect those boundaries and not take advantage of women. That's all fine and good, but does that mean that it's acceptable for the males of our species have no sexual boundaries?  Why can't we focus on teaching all of our kids, or rather, society as a whole, that we should all respect ourselves and each other enough to know that rape in any form shouldn't be tolerated? Isn't teaching boys that it is okay for them to have no boundaries just making it worse?

I think it also relates back to gender roles. I have a hard time with the rules society places on gender.  I really feel like assigning qualities to be masculine or feminine doesn't do anybody any favors.  I know we've come a very long way, but let's not lose traction in progress because we're busy telling our boys to be boys and our daughters how not to get raped.

I have more to say, but I'm having a hard time organizing my thoughts today.  I promise my next blog will be on a more cheerful subject and include lots of pictures of my amazing daughter (who is crawling up a storm nowadays).