Tuesday, May 7, 2013

It's nearly Mothers' Day again!

Yep.  It's time again for THAT post.

I know Mothers' Day isn't until Sunday, but it's on my mind this morning.  This year will be our 3rd Mothers' Day, and the first with a forever-baby in our arms.

2011 found us mothering 2 children who already had a mother.  2011 surrounded us with people reaffirming our first Mothers' Day, even if the kids weren't forever.  Even if we loved those kids deeply, despite spending the week beforehand creating Mother's Day gifts for their "real" mom.  Even if we felt cheapened by letting strangers assume they belonged to us.

2012 found us childless.  T was growing a small belly, a visible reminder of the baby we'd have by the next Mothers' Day.  2012 surrounded us with people congratulating us on our first real Mothers' Day, happy for us that our real kid was on her way.  My insides cringed, and the mother I was in 2011 felt invalidated.  I'd already been several kids' mother in prior years, why was this year the one I should celebrate as my first Mothers' Day?  Read about it here.

I'm not sure what 2013's Mothers' Day will bring.  I know the mama I am to E is different than the mother I've been before.  In small ways, every year it'll be a "First Mothers' Day" of sorts I suppose.

The woman I am today tells the small, petty parts of me to forgive easier.  To give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  To accept the heartfelt sentiment from someone's comment instead of criticizing their word choice or allowing what they say to offend me.

I am a mama.  Mothers' Day is coming up, a day to celebrate all mothers.  I will celebrate myself and my achievements on Sunday, as well as feeling intensely thankful for my own mother, and the multitude of mothers I have in my life.

And maybe... just maybe, people might consider thinking their words through a touch more.  Quantifying what makes things "real" versus false is the biggest faux pas here, I think.

Genuineness and sincerity may speak quietly, but the way they make us feel is everlasting.

1 comment:

  1. Love that comic on your earlier post. I feel the same way about most holidays - they are just too stressful, and full of too many expectations. I'm trying to remember that mothers' day is more about the kids and less about the actual mama. They like to be able to do things for us. I understand how it can be hard when your baby is so young, but I love your idea of just being together, and spending time outdoors. Hopefully the weather cooperates!