The days often pass me by in a blur, their colors melding together like our watercolor paintings. I was about to type that it's challenging to sometimes sit back and really SEE you as you're growing, but that's actually untrue. It's one of the easiest and best parts of my life, slowing down to watch you pass. Some days, I am taken aback by the sudden length of your feet, or the strong muscles in your back that I could swear weren't there just the night before, or the speed with which you innately understand your math homework.
I told a good friend last week that I worry about not teaching you everything I want to. Before you were born, I knew that I would have your entire childhood to impart all my wisdom. I knew so many things before you were born, and the older you become, the less I find I truly know. Today you're a bright, sunny six year old and already I wonder: when you're an adult and someone asks you what your best memory of your childhood is, what will your answer be?
Will I be good enough for you? Do I hug and kiss you as much as I could? Do you know with every fiber of your being how very loved you are? Or will you remember me as being tired, stressed about the state of our kitchen, or asking you to give me 5 more minutes on my sewing project? I just don't know.
I hope you'll remember decorating sugar cookies, creating watercolor paintings, tending seedlings in the garden, the feeling of exaltation when you figured out how to ride your bike without training wheels, the thrill of jumping into the biggest rain puddle you can find, reading together all curled up on the couch, making dinner together. Mostly, I hope you remember the laughter.
It's time to lure you to the table with a cup of hot lemon cake tea (or sometimes Earl Grey, hot - Mom taught you to say it just like Jean-Luc Picard) and get some of your homework done. I fear I'll never be your favorite person at homework time. But you're on my mind. You're always on my mind.
Love always,
Mama
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| Stealing the rugby ball during a game of touch |
I love the way you record your feelings and memories. I hope in the future both kids will look through their jounals and remember how awesome their moms were.
ReplyDeleteLove you and your beautiful family!
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