Monday, August 20, 2012

You're like the tide in the deep blue...

cause you're always there when I need you. 

Several months ago, we noted that our beloved Brandi Carlile and her band were going to be in town near the end of T's pregnancy - which was last night.  We bought balcony seats so T didn't have to stand the entire concert on the tilted concrete floor that makes up the general admission area.  We didn't feel the urge to see the opening band, so we didn't head downtown until around eight pm.  Turns out that one of the biggest storms of the season was opening up its gates as we were heading across town, so we carefully picked our way out there, only to find a distinct lack of parking close by.  Did we have an umbrella?  Nope.  I parked a few blocks away and T suggested that we just walk, and accept getting wet.

Out we got, into the deluge.  Even the sidewalks were flooding, water was running across the dark brickwork and through our shoes as we carefully padded our way towards the theatre.  After only moments in the rain, it became apparent that we were truly and completely going to be soaked by the time we reached our destination.  T began laughing.  An intensely joyful, absolutely gorgeous, clear bubbling laugh came bursting forth from her as we hopped our way through puddles and got drenched by the runoff from awnings. Patrons of restaurants with plate glass windows stared and pointed at us skipping past.  I love T's laugh. It's infectious, and it warms my heart through and through to hear it.  Together, we laughed and tears streaming from our eyes mingled with the cool drips drizzling their way down from the sky.  

Lately, she's been so uncomfortable that I think it's been hard for her to be terribly boisterous and giggly.  In fact, she's rarely giggly, but especially not right now.  The babe grows larger every day, straining and pulling the muscles in her back and hips out of place and her uterus tightens with increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks contractions, seemingly one atop the next.  She doesn't sleep well, she spends much of the day exhausted with the energy her body is putting into growing our daughter.  I struggle to see her in discomfort, I hate it that I can't fix it for her and make her more comfortable.  But at the same time, I understand that she's doing this for us, for our families, for Ever - and it's important work.  Due to all those things, hearing her laughter and seeing her enjoy herself again was a balm for the small wounds I feel in my heart, that even I didn't know were affecting me.  

We did make it to the concert, and the band was simply amazing - like they always are!  What an incredible night.  The evening out was kind of a celebration of our anniversary, so it was even more special to spend it in this way with my favorite person.  On Wednesday, we'll officially celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary, and a stormy evening full of love and our favorite band seemed a perfect way to toast ourselves for another lovely year.  I plan to have a lifetime more of them.  

I am impatiently awaiting the baby's arrival.  I know, I know.  She'll come when she's ready.  I KNOW.  Sigh.  I just want to meet her, hold her, and kiss her so badly. 

Surely you all must tire of hearing my philosophical treaties on the amazement that is the creation of a baby... but too bad.  You're going to get more!  

Pregnancy is a pretty common thing.  I think we can all agree on that.  But this is my wife that's pregnant.  That's our baby she's making in there.  How incredible and unique an experience we're having!  Birth is an everyday occurrence, everyone on this earth was born, new babies are born all the time.  There's just something about the idea of being so intimately entwined into someone new's life - their existence - that enthralls me.  Seeing her first breath, watching her eyes open the first time, hearing her first cry, and having the opportunity to be the first person to ever touch her skin... What could possibly be more special?  

We've waited twenty one long months for this little one to arrive.  And now we're mere days away from seeing her face for the first time.  I can wait for her to come to us in her own time - now I just need to remind myself of that!  


  1. I'm looking forward to "meeting" her on here too! Keep philosophizing, I for one like to experience it vicariously through you :)

  2. I can hear the infectious laughter come through the post - as well as your very understandable impatience. Every time I see an update over here, I wonder if it's "the one." Best of luck in the homestretch!! Glad you had a wonderful night together as the two of you.