Back in Black

Well, today was my third day back at work. I decided to go back two weeks earlier than planned for 10 hours a week.  After that I will try to stay at 30 hours a week for two weeks, before I'm back full time.

So far I think I made the right choice, even if I'm back sooner than I wanted. I'm finding it really hard to get back in the swing of things, so I'm glad to be going back gradually.  I feel like there are so many little things I have to catch up on to be able to get things done, but every time I get to work about 5 more things are added to my To-Do list (and they all have to be done THAT day so they move to the top of my list!).

E has been coming with me, which is interesting.  The biggest problem is that she has an easier time napping in the morning if I take her for a walk and the walk from the car to my office isn't long enough.  So she just wants to nurse and nurse and nurse because she can't sleep. And then she throws it all up on me. So, that's fun. Today she wouldn't sleep for more than 20 minutes (and that was the drive to the Mom & Baby group at the Birth Center). She finally had a meltdown and fell asleep around 3pm (you know, 5 hours after she normally takes her first nap).

Thursday will be the first big chunk of time we are apart. Last week A picked her up at 3pm and I got home at 5:30pm.  That wasn't too bad, but I kept worrying that I had left her somewhere (I had a dream I left her in the car and then my car was stolen). This time it will be from 3pm-8pm.  I'm mostly worried about what will happen if she decides she doesn't want to take the bottle. Poor A. Then next Friday and Saturday will be long days at work because it will be my first show back.  I think A will bring her to campus so I can feed her at least once during the day and I'll just pump a lot the rest of the day.

Speaking of that, I'm currently finding breastfeeding to be annoying. I believe that it is the right choice and am going to do everything in my power to keep doing it for at least her first year and probably more, but I definitely think the whole cheaper and more convenient thing only applies if you are a stay at home mom. I am so hungry all the time! The extra food I eat probably costs as much as formula! Plus the cost of the pump and maternity clothes. Now that I'm going back to work we will have to deal with washing bottles again, too. Where I appreciate that she gets comfort from nursing, I worry about how she will handle it when that isn't an option. She definitely doesn't get comfort from the bottle, if she'll even take it.  I know that everyone goes through this to some extent, I can't be with her 24/7, but it is still stressful. Even with my minor annoyance, breastfeeding is going well.

I guess I'll reward you for reading my rambly, whiny blog with some pictures! I know that is the real reason you read along =)

Eating at our Centering reunion

Smiles for Mama

On a date with her new boyfriend!

Just chillin'

Bashful smiles

I feel like we should expect to see this look often in her teenage years

Unfortunately, this is the best photo from our trip to the pumpkin patch

Sleepy little owl