It's one of those non-exciting appointments, but deserves mention nonetheless. At 14 weeks, 2 days pregnant, there isn't much to cover. The typical, "How are you feeling?" and "Do you have any questions or concerns?" sentiments were expressed. Sandy had T lay back on the table and we got to hear Cupcake's heartbeat again. That sound always makes my heart soar.
Even more excitingly, she got us a request for an anatomy scan! You see, the Birth Center doesn't do the detailed anatomy scans, they refer to their affiliate hospital (really close to them!) and let the perinatologists there do it. So we actually do have a date set, but T has had a hard time getting in touch with the center to find out when we get to go. I am so excited (SO EXCITED) to see our little baby for the first time, and learn if there is a little boy or a little girl growing in there. Am I about to have a son? Or a daughter?
In my heart, they lived as our special little starfish children; kids who we loved and mothered and then left us. The last day I ever picked them up from daycare, my little girl looked up as I came into her room and told everyone, "My mommy's here!" Even now, now that they've been gone almost three months, that memory still brings stinging tears to my eyes and a stab of pain through my heart. The day they left our lives will always be seared into my soul. I vowed to myself to never lose another son or daughter, not if I could help it.
This son, or this daughter, is mine. Mine in every way but the genetic way. I can't fully express how very much it means to me that I'm going to get to know this person every day. I've been here, every day and every night as this baby grows inside my wife. The day he is born, I'll be there to kiss his face and tell him how much I adore him. And the day after she's born, I'll be there to kiss her face and tell her how much I adore her. Every. Single. Day. This child will not have any question marks. I'll never wonder if he's been to the doctor before, or if she's had strawberry shortcake before, or if he usually throws tantrums or if she usually is so stone-faced. I'll already know all those things. The concept of being so wholly present for my child... it renders me in awe. I'm so thankful. I'm so glad.
Little one, baby Cupcake, we are so excited you're with us.